According to him,his daughter while expressing deep emotional feelings of disaffection frustration and despondence confided in him that she has broken up with her third boyfriend.This was apparently due to the guy's lack of ambition and drive, and also signs of a low self esteem,amongst a myriad of other reasons stated.Charly boy off the cuff then proceeds on his impassioned tirade by using this single experience to severally and unfairly impugne upon every single Nigerian adult male .
As if this was not bad enough,he goes on to strongly infer,if not deduce wrongly of course by denigrating the average Nigerian male's personae with a series of traits which by his write up one will think were encoded in their Genenetic Dna at birth, rather than learnt behaviours or social conduct .In conclusion he delivers his advice that the average Nigerian lady should follow in the advice he has given his daughter to have a child outside wedlock as he cant wait to be a Grand Father.
To say i was gobsmacked would be an understatement,first of all i was pleasantly suprised Charly boy did not disclose nor mention what his daughter's faults were in the relationship, i would have though for an argument or a break up to occur,it would take the active participation of two people unless domestic violence was involved. Secondly he never mentioned calling on or asking the guy for his own side of the story as it were, so basically what i could glean from his write up was that his daughter's (princess's as he kept reffering to her)word or narration of accounts were infallible and morally unquestionable and unfathomable.
He goes on to list a variety of reasons why Nigerian men are seemingly incapable of getting married .One of the reasons he lists is the state of the country and economy,while omitting to add that the state of the country has had a devastating effect,not just on the men but on women children the old and every demographic.
He makes refference to single men as not been any better than gigolos or deadbeat ,as if this absurd generalising description applies to the majority or every single Nigerian man. Again if you cross check with the reasons his princess gave for breaking up with her boyfriend you will notice his patent and hollow generalisation aligns seamlessly with the reasons his daughter had given .Its funny he did not even bother to explore and find out how many of these Nigerian females are quite prepared to settle down with a young man who is not as wealthy as a Nigerian hip hop artiste or the children of our influential,rich and wealthy.
In the continuation of his one man social experiment and comparative analysis without a control subject,he further concludes that dating and marriage is a dying establishment hence rather than see to ways of modernising it, identifying the problems and correcting it his suggestion was to jettison it altogether and engage in unbridled adultery and fornication ,become a single parent baby mama society just like the UK and the USA.
He further concludes his sanctimonious homily by enjoining Nigerian women not to settle for less (meaning they must date only the best) and not settle for "Any thrash out there" paraphrasing his own words.
While Charly boy has a right to govern his family anyway he sees fit,after all he is married to an american lady and had spent a long time imbibing western cultures before moving back home to Nigeria as his dressings and idiosincracies can attest to.However, it is not his place to summarily dismiss offhand the traditional dating or marriage institution just because it has not worked out for his princess.
Rather than going off on a tirade against Nigerian men just because of the break up of his daughter's relationship,he should question and advice his daughter that being a rich man's daughter does not mean an average Nigerian man will be subservient to her,especially if she had been dating a Nigerian man of South East extraction who are fiercely republican in nature and will not tolerate a proud or haughty wife or girl friend.They might have grown up with western ideals, where the man is the doormat in the family unit after the woman who is the head,the children,the family pet and lastly the man. However the same does not apply to a full blooded African-Nigerian man.
Furthermore It would be unfair of me to conclude erroneously unlike Charly Boy about his daughter's personality traits,so restricting myself to his own descriptions and narration of events,it seems pride and arrogance might be one of the prominent reasons for the break up.Therefore this is more of a clear and present issue for him and his daughter to deal with,rather than taking up his role of social crusader on the eradication of dating and marriage.
Even though he has been resident in Nigeria for a long while,he seems to be suffering a social disconnect.If not, he would have realised that the social ills especially as regards dating and marriage is first a result of globalisation i.e the negative foreign influences.Moreover its funny that his own research did not reveal to him that these negative influences have affected the females even more than the men.How many girls and women have we behold their naked pictures on social media some smoking indian hemp,cigarettes?
How many of these women would Charly Boy advice single Nigerian men (including his son) to get married to that we have seen in videos having sex,or indulging in lesbian sex romps?
How many of these Nigerian women have we seen indulging in runz or glorified prostitution with rich men old enough to be their dads and grand dads? 2face even with his obvious weakness for women,was still being pursued relentlessly by other women,how come they neglected the young Nigerian men who were ready to get married?
Funke Akindele the recently seperated Jenifa actress is another example,was there a dearth of young ambitious young men who were ready to date or marry her for her to have settled for a polygamous man with clearly ambiguous moral judgement ?
Charly Boy should have addressed the issue of financial consideration and the part it is playing in women refusing to date men who are not within a financial bracket.He neglected to address the issue of unconstrained moral decay that has severally corrupted a lot of Nigerian women who want to get rich at all cost through foul or fair means.
In the United States where he and his wife moved back from,what is the result of an implosion of single parenthood?
While i must be quick to say i am not condemning single parents outright,i must however point out that it has a lot of social disadvantages some of which are..Financial Hardship,Psychological instabillity of playing a male and female role model,the social instability and stigma on the children and one of the most obvious and consistent disadvantage is, the product of single parenting exhibiting anti social behaviours.
In the United Kingdom which is even more of a welfare dependant society than the United States where single parenthood is a big socio political problem,the disadvantages listed above are even more poigyant and pronounced.Without going into statistics it is a problem the British society have been struggling with, even with a staggering welfare wage bill of 7.2% of the total GDP.So if Charly Boy is advocating for this social construct,i am expecting a rejoinder from him on how to respond to the problem that will definitely follow closely in the trail of such problematic social experiment.Since he has a lot of friends in Government,will be be soliciting for a fund and agency that will deal with and manage the fall out of single parenting in Nigeria a country of almost 200million?
The problem has never been the dating or marriage institution.It is the same thing as saying because a car hit a child,we should therefore ban cars and start using bicycles or trekking.The problem is not the traditional institution of dating and marriage but societies perception and attitudes to it.
Barrack obama and his wife are both married and i believe they are an ideal and model couple for a lot of people,not because they are the first to marry but their attitudes,perceptions. We can see that they both have mutual respect for each other. She got married to her husband while he had nothing, in fact on their first date the rickety car he drove had a hole on the floor which her leg almost poked out of, yet love transcended all...
We also know there were times when she was earning more than her husband, yet love transcended all, how many of our Nigerian women can endure that?
How many of our women are presently refusing the hand of a Nigerian man in dating or marriage because he is not tall dark and handsome? or because he is not in the ideal financial bracket?
A friend of mine used a word which i believe best suits the situation when he remarked that "there are many women in Nigeria but very few wife material"
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